The creature that almost ended it all

Arguably the event that Andrew was looking forward to the most finally arrived: Piranha fishing! As with all things Luis-the-wonder-guide did in the Amazon, he made it look easy. Stick some raw beef (ew) onto a hook, drop the line into the water and Presto! Piranha!  (Nothing fancy about these poles either. Just a stick, a string, and a hook.) He educated us on this fish-of-ill-repute, helping to dispel (and confirm) some myths:

Piranha facts (per Luis):

• They aren't particularly attracted to human flesh. More like, they like all flesh. And humans have flesh, so there you go. (In all seriousness, human is not part of their diet.)
• Their teeth are incredibly powerful and can cause serious damage. There was a story about a piranha landing on a girl’s boob, a bite, and an immediate rush to a medical facility because of the bleeding. Also much mention of lost fingers and toes.
• All kidding aside, basically if you don’t bother them, they won’t bother you. Only the guide and our boat operator were allowed to handle the fish once caught so that they could be released. (I think everyone was relieved to hear this.)
• Last cool fact: Piranhas require substantially less oxygen than other fish species, and as a result they can remain out of the water for up to 15 minutes! Which is why Luis was able to provide a close-up of some nice orthodontics:

Once the education segment was over, we all got a pole. Then, we all spent a good amount of time feeding these fish some tasty beef. It was hard! (Luis kept repeating the joke, “Guides fish Piranha. Tourists feed Piranha!”) But after many tries, guess who caught the first one?!!

Yes, I completely freaked out. One fish was enough for me. Andrew was successful soon after and managed to keep his composure, providing a nice photo op.

Then, disaster. Within moments of Andrew pulling up a second fish, the Piranha jumped off its hook and landed at our sandaled feet, flopping madly in all directions. Instantly the entire boat was standing. Inevitably, the Piranha flopped against Andrew’s legs, causing him to jump onto the boat bench and out of reach, which in turn forced me against the edge of a seriously rocking boat. As the frantic fish now flopped against my ankles, I clung to Andrew’s waist and screamed “Andrew, I swear if you push me out of this boat I will KILL you!” (note: quote has been edited for language). All I could think was, screw the lone ranger at my ankles, I’m about to go crashing ass-first into an entire school of frenzied, beef-eating piranhas!

Fortunately we were rescued by our boat operator Rudolfo, and no harm was done to us or to the fish. And I didn’t kill Andrew. So that’s good. (Andrew’s take on the event:   What Pratima fails to realize is that I pushed her away from the piranha while providing an anchor that she could cling to for support.  There was certainly no possibility of her going anywhere near the water while perched on my back for safety :-P)

Here are the teeth of our close encounter.